The celebrities remind me of the smart pigs in Animal Farm or the apes in Planet of the Apes trying to mimic human civilization. Or a bunch of trained monkeys on puppet strings. That's how completely ridiculous and fake they seem to me. They're CONSTANTLY acting. It's like they can't stop. They're like "Oh shit, I just realized I don't know how to be myself and act natural, since all I do is act haha. I'll just wing it and act ALL THE TIME. No one will notice!... will they?"
The following is a list of ways in which the celebrities are completely fucking absurdly fake.
1. Everyone auplauds on cue, no matter how insignificant the reason. Everyone laughs at every joke, no matter how unfunny it may be. It's like a fucking sitcom. I'll bet they have cue cards that say "laugh" and "clap" at the appropriate times.
2. Their whole "polite etiquette":
This is also completely ridiculous. They always come out in pairs. One female celebrity and one male celebrity. The woman always has her hand on the man's arm, as if they're all secretly lovers, and they talk to each other like they've known each other for years. Yeah, I'm so sure they're all friends and fuck each other's wives on the side and they're all ok with it. Again... FAKE.
3. Their dresses:
All the women look like stupid dolls that are competing for the title of "most unique." They don't care how stupid and ridiculous they look, as long as their dresses cost $10,000 and they're unique, it's all good!
They can also be compared to a beauty pageant. I'm surprised they're not all wearing sashes and crowns and holding flowers.
4. Those fucking tributes:
Like the one about Catherine Hepburn in this one. who the fuck gives a shit about some old dead fucker's career? And everyone acts like "OMG this actor was/is so fucking genius. I am moved to tears by this tribute!"
5. The whole basis for the Oscars:
They give Oscars to really stupid movies sometimes just because nothing really profound came out in the year, so they have to give the award to something that doesn't deserve it. Even if the year's movies are all as stupid as... fuck I can't think of an example right now.. but just think of a REALLY stupid movie and insert it here. :p
So really stupid movies win Oscars and then everyone pretends like these movies are really fucking brilliant just because they won an Oscar. Oscars don't mean SHIT. They lack validity. They don't measure what they're supposed to measure. (That last part about validity came from my Psychology class. We're learning about validity. Sorry :p).
6. How they try to be politically correct:
They do this so they'll "look good." So they'll appeal to the public, or whatever. Example: the stupid woman talking about the... fuck I forgot, radiation poisoning or something, but she was trying to act all emotional and failing miserably. You don't care, you just want to look good. Fuck you.
Ok I think I'm done for now. I hate most celebrities. The end.